Monthly Archives: September 2004

pretty on the inside

So, the latest round of “let’s see just how many tests Alice’s insurance will agree to pay for!” is an endoscopy. I’m truly excited. The doctor had me sign one of those forms in which I agree not to sue … Continue reading

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margaritas and mad hatters

I was working on a mix cd for an exchange when I was thinking about starting this site. I have always identified with that poor rabbit, late for a very important date. Overdue. In a rabbit stew. One of the … Continue reading

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Intellectual Conversation

“Hey baby. Want me to pull on your big toe? “Maybe.” “I’m also supposed to wrap your penis in plastic wrap.” “And then what?” “And then I hum.” “Hum what?” He then threatened to buy a men’s magazine and try … Continue reading

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A guide for the modern girl

This month’s Cosmo magazine proves what I have suspected for years. They ran out of actual stories long ago and now spend their days messing with their readers. “Let’s see if we can get people to… wear live frogs as … Continue reading

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Acquiring Spidey Senses

I’ve been voluntarily injected with radiation twice in one week. However, I have not, as of yet, gained any fantastic superpowers that would propel me into comic book stardom. I’m still hopeful as the latest injection was only yesterday and … Continue reading

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Security Risks

As it turns out, you don’t need a photo ID to board an aircraft. So with all the watchlists, and taking off of shoes and walking barefoot on cold tile that a thousand other barefoot travelers with any number of … Continue reading

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Sometimes, it’s all about me

Hi. I’m Alice. Well, Alice in the sense of names being changed to protect the innocent and the guilty, which leads to the reason for this journal. Why exactly are you starting this journal? Don’t you have three million other … Continue reading

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Legalized Gambling

I think I’m becoming addicted to online investing. It’s like playing craps in Vegas, only you can do it in your pajamas and there are no scantily-clad waitresses offerering you watered-down drinks. Come to think of it, I would like … Continue reading

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