Monthly Archives: February 2005

some girls want a pony

I’ve been telling my mom for years that she needs health insurance. I cannot imagine going without it. But she’s never been the least bit interested. Now, I wonder why I’m so surprised because I was talking to my sister … Continue reading

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the bitch who had your truck towed

I’m a bitch. I want bad things to happen to people. And even though it’s only a little part of me that wants that, it’s there just the same. And what kind of person wants someone’s car towed? And takes … Continue reading

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the trouble with chicklit

Here’s the thing about chicklit. It can be so real. Seriously. I can hear you saying, “right. Clicklit. Real. Uh-huh.” But it’s true. There’s so much I can identify with. So much that I read and think, “oh me too! … Continue reading

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sneezing in a dust-filled barn

I am so very tired of crying. I hate that I cry when I’m frustrated or mad or stressed. I can handle crying when I’m sad or hurt, although I really wish I could control that too. You don’t always … Continue reading

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blame it on the corn cobs

I really wanted to write about mice and about how they’re so cute in pictures and maybe in the woods but then they somehow morph into these scary monsters if they’re, oh say, in your house, and about how I’m … Continue reading

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stuffed yellow mutant chicks of love

We were in the car the other day, and out of nowhere, P. said, “we’re not doing anything for Valentine’s Day, right?” As proof that we are a perfect match, my first thought was, “hell no, we’re not doing anything. … Continue reading

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my own personal simon

You will succeed by believing in your abilities. The message came to me in a fortune cookie the other day. I guess it’s supposed to be motivating and inspiring, but of course it’s bullshit. Probably a lot of American Idol … Continue reading

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I worry about my brain

Today when I got home from work, I was so exhausted from getting up at 5 AM to go to the gym and being all despondent and sad that I really had no choice but to take a nap. Only … Continue reading

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reasons I shouldn’t go to the gym

1. It’s really cold outside. 2. On the other hand, the bed is really warm. 3. Also the blankets are toasty and snuggly. 4. I would have to scrape the ice off my car windows, and ice prefers to melt … Continue reading

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this is only a test

Do you ever feel like some days are just one big test? Today, I’m pretty sure I’m failing. In fact, earlier, I broke down and called P., absolutely sobbing, and I feel like an idiot because lots of people have … Continue reading

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drinking bacardi breezers, wearing ugg boots, and listening to country music

We’ve finally decided where to go on vacation. It went a little like this: Where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? I asked you first. Well, you’re a dirty pirate whore. So are you. Oh … Continue reading

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dirty teeth

Damn you, Harmony and your sparkling white teeth! Ahem. What I meant to say is that Harmony’s journal entry reminded me that I hadn’t had my teeth cleaned in over five years. Possibly a lot more than that. The years … Continue reading

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the proper way to iron

I was ironing P.’s shirts last night (shut up; I lost a bet) and it got me thinking about this time during the summer between my junior and senior years of high school when I lived on my own for … Continue reading

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and the cats go hungry

I can’t take the chaos. It’s bad enough when my refrigerator is so full I can’t close it without slamming it really hard to shove everything towards the back, and when I wear a sweatshirt and baseball cap to work … Continue reading

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