So, I was running through the mall — not quite literally running, but walking as briskly as possible without looking like a loon — and I saw this girl looking at jewelry. Not expensive jewelry, just inexpensive beaded necklaces. I was picking up a birthday present and I had rushed out of work between meetings and I hoped I wouldn’t run into a line or a cashier who wanted to chat because I really had to get back.
And I saw this girl and it was the most ridiculous thing in the world to me that someone had time to stop and so casually look at jewelry. And even crazier, that someone was going to have some future time to pick jewelry to wear when getting dressed in the morning. Crazy.
My schedule for the past several months has been thusly: Wake up around 6 or 7 and sit down with coffee and cats and work for a couple of hours. Quickly shower, pull my hair into a scrunchie and throw on jeans or sweats (anything more would take too long) and go to the office until around 7. Come home and work for a few more hours. The only variances in this schedule have been weekends and holidays when I haven’t gone into the office, but rather worked from my couch, and all the time I spent on planes and in hotel rooms. The time on planes and in hotel rooms have been exactly the same as all the rest of the time (my laptop open, except for takeoff and landing), only with different scenery.
There definitely has been no time free for jewelry shopping. Or wearing.
Right now, I have time to breathe. My project isn’t done and I can’t even see the light at the end of the tunnel, but for now, I have breathing room.
At some point, I should reflect philosophically on work/life balance, and how much time of my own is worth vs. career satisfaction and whether I have spiraled back into my inability to say no. And possibly why, in the mall, I didn’t stop to consider that perhaps I was the crazy one. But I don’t have time for that now. Right now I am making good use the extra time to go through the piles of paper I somehow accumulate throughout the house and wonder where October went. Because how far my mail goes back.
The girl in the mall? I saw her in January. I’ve been trying to find the time to write about her ever since.