Category Archives: No Longer Applies

she’ll tell you she’s an orphan, after you meet her family

I don’t know whether or not to get a Christmas tree. I used to love Christmas, maybe because my mom loved it and I used to love everything my mom loved. When I got married, I took with me all … Continue reading

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doesn’t everyone need a hundred pound hammer?

Remodeling a house yourself, from scratch, with no prior experience, and no prior equipment, can be a daunting experience. You might actually be thinking “stupid move” or “crazy idea” or “really hilarious, can I watch?”, but I’m going with daunting. … Continue reading

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stuffed yellow mutant chicks of love

We were in the car the other day, and out of nowhere, P. said, “we’re not doing anything for Valentine’s Day, right?” As proof that we are a perfect match, my first thought was, “hell no, we’re not doing anything. … Continue reading

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drinking bacardi breezers, wearing ugg boots, and listening to country music

We’ve finally decided where to go on vacation. It went a little like this: Where do you want to go? Where do you want to go? I asked you first. Well, you’re a dirty pirate whore. So are you. Oh … Continue reading

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