recalculating

It’s good for couples to have something in common — something they can share and that can bond them together. A couple is made of two very different people: different pasts, different feelings, desires, and needs. But with at least that one thing, you understand each other. You look into each other’s eyes and know exactly how the other feels.

With P. and me, the thing we share is an absolute lack of any sense of direction. I should have known he was the one for me when way back before we ever started dating, he told me about how he got lost driving home.

The one constant in our life is all the aimless driving around we do. It’s an adventure every time we go out. You might expect that he would get mad at me for telling him to go the completely wrong direction or that I would get mad at him for driving the opposite way of where we were planning to go, but we would never get mad — we understand each other. The directions he gives me when I’m driving are just as wrong as the ones I give him.

But all that’s about to change. For Christmas, P. gave me a GPS navigation system. It is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen. It knows exactly where you are and can tell you exactly where to go. And it’s portable so we can use it in either car. We tried it out for the first time today. “I’ll never get lost again!” I told P. Minutes later I passed our exit despite the machine’s repeated attempts to get me to change lanes. But the difference was that the machine gave me an alternate route. I wasn’t lost, just alternately navigating!

She has the best irritated voice when you miss a turn. “Recalculating” she says, and you can totally hear the sigh in her voice and the silent, “despite my impeccable directions and reminders to TURN LEFT HERE YOU IDIOT.”

P. told me that he thought of my gift the entire time we were driving around lost, looking for the magical Christmas tree farm. Maybe the company could use that for their next marketing campaign: “Car navigation — give the gift of freedom from chain saw-toting Christmas tree workers who have gone crazy from too much Christmas cheer”.

We drove around for hours and our machine of driving nirvana only had to “recalculate” three times. Of course, every place we stopped at was closed, so we didn’t actually accomplish anything, but the important thing is that we made it to those places at all. Every single place on our list. Which is really unheard of between the two of us.

I suppose this means we’ve lost our one sacred bond. But now we have the Voice of the Truth Path. And with her, we can build an even stronger bond. And turn left in point five miles.

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