Today when I got home from work, I was so exhausted from getting up at 5 AM to go to the gym and being all despondent and sad that I really had no choice but to take a nap. Only then I had this nightmare where this Hannibal Lecter guy was chasing me and I was trying to hide in the crowd by putting on a chef’s hat and randomly putting chef’s hats on everyone else (we’re all chefs! he’ll never find me!) only he cornered me in this restaurant and started eating everyone, like really taking big bites out them, trying to get to their internal organs, and I was trapped there, just waiting to be eaten, watching him chomp away.
So, then I woke up feeling icky and not at all refreshed. And I started wondering what freakish creepy part of my brain thought up that dream. And what does it say about it me that I would even think up such a thing? The guy was not nibbling on these people, he was like a lion devouring a wildebeest, seriously.
I tried to put it out of my head by having mashed potatoes for dinner. Note that I also had mashed potatoes for breakfast and lunch. My tooth is estatic about this. My stomach? Not so much. Last night, wine was too cold for my tooth so I had to switch to tequila shots. I figured that cowboys in those old westerns with toothaches were always drinking whiskey as medicine, so maybe it would heal my tooth right up. It didn’t work. Possibly I needed more tequila.
I spent my day writing documentation for a product that’s in Korean. As you might imagine, it went really really well. It went kind of like this: Huh. I wonder what that squiggly line means. And what happens when I press this button? Oh. Another squiggly line. And a bar is now on top of that fish thing. Great! I have no idea about the fish thing. I’ll just take a lot of pictures and hope it’s self-explanatory.
I jus realized I have been watching Dr. Phil talk to “self-proclaimed gold diggers” for forty-five minutes. This is much more disturbing than the internal organ eater.
I honestly worry about my brain.