P. and I saw the The Dukes of Hazzard movie last night. Actually, what happened was P. stayed home from work yesterday because he was sick. And when I got home, he said, “look what I got at Home Depot!”, all excited. I asked him what he was doing at Home Depot when he was supposed to be home sick and he said it was because he had to return the movies.
I suppose Blockbuster was on the way if he turned the opposite direction, got on the freeway, drove around the city, and ended up with a blow torch.
All of this passes for logic at our house.
He told me he picked up new movies, one just for me! And by “just for me”, I instantly knew that he actually meant as payback for making him watch Bride and Prejudice a few weeks back. In my defense, I didn’t even know it was a musical. In fact, during the opening scene, I was very impressed that Indian weddings involve so much singing and dancing.
So, we watched The Dukes of Hazzard. I think I might be emotionally scarred forever now.
Back in fifth grade I had all the diecast cars: Daisy’s jeep, Rosco’s police car, Boss Hogg’s caddy, and of course, the General Lee. I used to play with them in the dirt with the neighbor boys. We’d make roads and zoom our cars along, making up elaborate stories about why Bo and Luke were being chased this time.
Our fifth grade stories were way better than this movie, by the way. Although I can’t think of much that isn’t better, so I’m not saying we were master storytellers or anything. Although I’m pretty sure no one wanted to have sex with a car in our plots.
I have to stop thinking about that movie. It’s scarring my soul. P. shouldn’t be left home sick without supervision. It’s all fine and good that he’s buying blow torches, but he shouldn’t be left alone at the video store.