Well a wise man once said to me
If your heart don’t break you won’t be free
I’m as free as a bird
-“The Mountain”, Kasey Chambers
I went on a run today along the beach and just looked out at the water and the city and the sand. It seemed like I passed only couples, holding hands, watching the sunset, pushing their children in strollers. I ran until the road curved and then I stopped and watched the sunset too. It lit up the sky behind the mountains and then the sun started slipping out of sight. I ran back then, staying as close to the water’s edge as I could, following the birds in the sky.
Despite the whole couples and children thing, it made me happy to run along the beach. I should do it every single day and in fact, I just might. I wonder sometimes why I don’t do more things that make me happy, or didn’t start doing them earlier. Like I’m waiting for someone else to do them with me or to suggest them or to say that it’s OK. And why should I wait for any of those things?
Every day that I drive my car I wonder why I spent all that time not driving a stick shift. Why did I wait so long to live on the water?
While I was running today, I was listening to Kasey Chambers. Not the most upbeat music for working out, I know, but it fit my mood. Someone told me recently that every experience is different and a few song lyrics can’t possibly reflect what we go though, what we feel. And I know that he’s right, but sometimes you hear something and you just know exactly how it feels.
I suppose I heard those lyrics and thought, I guess there’s a part of me that does feel free. What is there left to risk? I don’t have a fragile, crack-free heart to protect. I can’t worry about everything.
As Anya would say, there’s nothing we can’t face, except for bunnies.
Fortunately, I’m in a bunny-free zone. So I guess I can face anything.