no visible means of support

I’m getting on a plane today. I am not overly fond of planes, what with being exceeding high up in the air with no visible means of support, and being trapped in a tube that’s zooming through space, and being unable to get off at any time I might happen to feel like it. Even trains have those emergency pull things. Planes? Not so much. Although, one time, I was on a plane and someone had a heart attack and we made an emergency landing at the Denver airport, going from 30,000 feet to the ground in under five minutes. And they had to call a maintenance person out of bed to inspect the brakes before we could take off because they had overheated a bit with all the abrupt stopping. But normally? Planes won’t stop just for you.

I think I even have everything packed, although it’s mostly pajamas come to think of it. I also managed to print the silly polar bear story. Of course, I still don’t know how to bind it into a book, but that’s a problem I’m going to tackle after I successfully make this flight. I’ve been known to back out of them.

I’ve also been known to take Xanax and drink wine on these flights, which I don’t think it recommended but it does tend to get me through the turbulence. And since to me, turbulence is any bump we might happen to encounter, I need a lot of wine.

I’m hoping that once I get there, I can forget all about my irritating work issues, and not stress about giving the perfect gifts, and everything else zooming through my head at a million miles and hourm and find the holiday spirit.

Or possibly really strong eggnog.

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