When cleaning out my storage closet, I happened upon this: one large box of porn and elbow braces.

Understand, when I say elbow braces plural, I mean an extensive assortment of padded braces, plastic braces, those molded specifically for a particular elbow, some with metal, some without. A variety of colors, sizes, and styles.

And when I say porn, I do not mean a Playboy or two, perhaps a soft core video. I am talking about edible paints, girl-on-girl comic books, and possibly a board game. A bondage board game. For 4-8 players.

As I am ruthlessly ridding myself of everything I don’t need, the entire box ended up in the dumpster. I considered Goodwill, but I’m not sure of their orthopedic medical supply policy.

The box ended up in my storage closet thusly. I had left behind a number of items in my previous house when I moved to this apartment. But that house sold and I wasn’t in town to dispose of everything before the new owners arrived. So I asked my personal assistant to sell, give away, or toss whatever was there and only to rescue things I might really want to hang on to. I’m finally now going through what she brought over. Boxes of tax receipts, a few pairs of shoes, and this. The box of medical braces and porn.

This, then, how I’ve represented my priorities. I feel pretty good about that.

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