I found another spider during my daily pre-shower ritual. He was on the bathroom floor next to the tub. He was smallish, like the last one. But the same horrible kind, and smallish for giant house spiders is not the same as small.
I realize I was wrong before, when I called the first one a “he”.
That first one was clearly the momma spider, who gave birth to a million baby spiders, and they have now all banded together to exact their revenge on me for making them orphans. Just like the ending of Charlotte’s Web.
A million spider babies lifting their tiny spider legs: “you killed my mother. Prepare to die.”
Tell the insurance company it was the spiders that burned the house down.