Last November, my grandmother died. I don’t think I took it very well. Family issues, relationship issues, death issues, and all other sorts of emotional issues entertwined with missing her. This September, my grandfather died. I felt like an orphan. I regretted not spending more time with him. And I was sad. I’m still sad.
There was family drama. If I think about it too much I get angry and then I realize that it doesn’t matter. That my grandparents are gone either way and it doesn’t make sense to waste emotional energy on drama. So, I tried to stay out of it. But it really would have been nice to have something to remember them by.
But I realized that things are just things and it didn’t matter, really.
Today, my sister showed me a few things she managed to save for me. An apron, a handkerchief, a book. And then she mentioned that she had rescued a box of Christmas ornaments and had decorated her tree with them. “Here’s a box of them that are leftover. I don’t know if you want them…” She handed me the box.
Maybe I’ll get a tree after all.