I want to change the world. Learn everything about the world. Be loved by someone who thinks I’m awesome. But at what point do I lower my expectations? Decide I’m approaching this life thing all wrong and that I’m not on a path to where I think I want to go; I’m just on a path that ends at a really steep cliff. And maybe some scary dragons.
This impact the world, learn it all drive is rooted in being terrified of death, of the idea that we all die someday. So maybe I just need to change my strategy. Instead of focusing all my energy on maximizing the time I have here, I could just join a cult. I could find peacefulness in the idea that death is just a stepping stone to the next level in my existence. That seems a lot easier than my method. Particularly since my method doesn’t seem to be working. And while the cult method might not be strictly speaking accurate, perception is reality in these things, right?
Could I give up my drive and curiosity and skepticism and just be happy not being accomplished and successful and growing and all of those things that I want but just seem to drown me? Well, no. Probably not. But I’m tempted to try.