what not to do

Make jalepeno poppers with super hot jalapenos so that when your boyfriend prepares them and then rubs his nose, he gets the jalapeno juice or whatever all in his nose so that it starts burning and gets all red and puffy and Internet searches of jalapeno burning nose just turn up stories of people with wet tissues up their noses who can’t get the burning to stop (“nostrils ARE ON FIRE!!”). So, you don’t tell him all of that, just that you couldn’t find any helpful information and you press on making the poppers because the nose burning shouldn’t be in vain.

And then turn the oven off once the poppers are done but then leave them in the oven so they stay warm while you finish the rest of the dinner (and you already know where this is going, right?) and then happily eat your dinner and go to bed and then three days later heat up the oven and then open it to put some bread in and then, and only then, remember the jalapeno poppers because there they are, still, in the oven.

Don’t do that.

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