Monthly Archives: December 2004

the year that will be

How hokey am I? Resolutions, seriously. be courageous Do more things that scare me. Taking up snowboarding has really given me confidence that I can actually do this: that I can do something that scares the hell out of me … Continue reading

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distant lifetimes

A few nights ago, I had this dream that I was still married, but separated, and instead of deciding to divorce, the dream me decided to try again to make things work. I cannot tell you the sense of loss … Continue reading

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instant knowledge

I have begun to realize that failure and setbacks are necessary obstacles in life, and that without them, we couldn’t learn to be successful. Well, sort of. I mean, I realize it in an abstract, theoretical kind of way, but … Continue reading

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Santa’s flamethrower met Frosty the snowman

I always have such grand plans in my head. I’m going to file all of my receipts! And send in for that rebate! Purge and back up my hard drive! Organize my recipes! Brush the cats! Discover the secret to cold fusion! (Or has someone discovered that already? Maybe that was just a movie.) Continue reading

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coffee with cream

I love food. I love to cook it, eat it, read about it, watch it on TV. Food is awesome. However, over the past couple of years, I have been learning about making better choices about the food that I … Continue reading

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christmas eve

There’s something inexplicably alluring about having sex in your parents’ house. Well, maybe for some people, thinking about sex in any kind of juxtaposition with parents is the quickest way to call the whole thing off. But for some of … Continue reading

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Christmas caring

There’s one grocery store open in Houston today, Christmas. It’s a Randall’s in an otherwise empty shopping center and three people are working. I’m sure these three people would rather be home, sitting by the fire, sipping eggnog or some … Continue reading

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the glittery magic wand

It’s Christmas. Well, it’s Christmas Eve, which is the same thing, really. At every momentous day of the year: my birthday, New Year’s Day, Christmas, I expect some big Life Change. Like a spotlight is going to shine down on … Continue reading

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no visible means of support

I’m getting on a plane today. I am not overly fond of planes, what with being exceeding high up in the air with no visible means of support, and being trapped in a tube that’s zooming through space, and being … Continue reading

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a polar bear christmas: redux

It doesn’t feel like Christmas. I have no holiday spirit. I have been too busy to really even notice that Christmas is three days away. And I was given a last-minute project at work that I’ve been frantically working on … Continue reading

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I don’t know how this ends

I’ve been trying (for several years now, actually; I mean, I was even still married when I first started trying) to read this mostly terrible book called Morning Pages: The Almost True Story of My Life by Joseph Sutton. The … Continue reading

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a polar bear christmas

I had a last minute flash of gift-buying brilliance and decided that what P. really should have for Christmas is a vintage polar bear toy. I cannot explain what goes on in my stress-addled brain that resulted in this revelation, … Continue reading

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wine and cheese

If you want to throw a wine and cheese party, and I definitely think that you should, the first thing you should know is that it won’t be cheap. Oh sure, all the how-to Web sites will tell you that … Continue reading

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my satanist friends

When I was in the second grade, my family moved to a very small town in Oklahoma (population: 200). And I spent the second half of the school year in a freezing building that lumped two grades into each classroom, … Continue reading

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lick, lick, lick

My cat has not gotten over the shaving incident. Of course, it’s not as though his fur has grown out in three days or anything, so I really shouldn’t blame him. I had to get up extraordinarily early this morning, … Continue reading

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days like today

At my day job, I write documentation that attempts to describe to programmers how to integrate my company’s software onto mobile devices (primarily cell phones). I mostly like it, although I’ve been doing this same kind of thing for a … Continue reading

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trying to light a fire

I am still, after therapy, after clearing seeing the ludicrousness of it, after having life go terribly awry because of it, obsessed with people liking me. Never mind that I know that desperately wanting people to like you is wholly … Continue reading

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peas and duck

My cat is really mad at me right now. You see, he used to look like this: And now, he looks like this: The other cat has been mocking him all morning and sniffing at him like he smells bad. … Continue reading

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i’ll be home for christmas

You know the one about being home for Christmas, if only in your dreams. You’ve seen that Folger’s commercial where the guy is home from college or the Peace Corps or prison or whatever and he sneaks in and makes … Continue reading

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just like going to church

Going to gay bingo is exactly like going to church. OK, maybe church doesn’t have as many drag queens, but they have ladies in way too much makeup and really big hair, so there’s no visible difference. The drag queens … Continue reading

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visions of sugar plums dance on my head

It came to me with perfect clarity yesterday: why we all have such a love-hate relationship with the holidays. I was listening to a holiday mix CD in the car as I was driving to yet another mall to fend … Continue reading

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tequila and naked lambs

I had two shots of tequila and a breakfast bar for dinner last night. P. called me when he was on his way home from work and I was picking up my car registration sticker. He asked me how my … Continue reading

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unzipped hoodies

When I was a kid, my stepsister would get into huge fights with my mom. About laundry. Mom always buttoned shirts she hung on hangers; my sister wanted to just reach into the closet and grab a shirt. She didn’t … Continue reading

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surreal e-mails of goodbye

If you’ve worked for a technology company for any length of time, chances are you’ve experienced layoff day. If you are lucky on layoff day and are not one of the many victims, you instead experience a surreal barrage of … Continue reading

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In search of a pie dish

It’s a question for the ages: is it better to shop online? With online shopping, you can easily get reviews, compare prices, and simply type in a search to find what you’re looking for. You can then click your mouse … Continue reading

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a crazy cat lady

A get a lot of variations on the question “would you ever get married again?” And I don’t give anyone the real answer, which is, the idea really scares me. A lot. I have the same fears about living with … Continue reading

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the block

I still have writer’s block, and actually, it’s grown into a large looming mountain. Which is a little inconvenient for me since I write for a living, after all. All I really needed to do today was edit something. However, … Continue reading

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