Author Archives: Alice

This morning, while my KitchenAid mixer was kneading bagel dough (the trouble with sourdough starter is that you have to actually make things with it or throw away a lot of sourdough starter), it started shooting sparks straight out from … Continue reading →

I’ve been waking up early lately – 5 or 5:30. Sometimes I go back to sleep for an hour, but usually I get up. Early morning is the most amazing time. Everything is quiet and peaceful. The day can still … Continue reading →

I am overloaded again. I have let myself get overloaded again. I have overloaded myself. Again. This time, I’m better equipped to recognize it. To stay sane while it all swirls around me. To know that it’s happening, at least. … Continue reading →

It’s true what they say about getting older: for everything you may lose (eternal optimism, youthful enthusiasm, supple skin), you gain clarity. You can see what was only blurry before – what you can change, what is beyond your control. … Continue reading →

Do you ever open a browser and stare at the search box and just wonder what you could type in to get an answer? And you don’t even know the question, you just know you need the answer. Something. Somewhere. … Continue reading →

There’s this story I tell about my childhood. I was in first grade and I’d just learned how to read. I was super excited about it. Even at six, I was all about the next goal, about being perfect, always … Continue reading →

So. I found another spider during my daily pre-shower ritual. He was on the bathroom floor next to the tub. He was smallish, like the last one. But the same horrible kind, and smallish for giant house spiders is not … Continue reading →

About two years ago, I decided that I was finally ready for commitment again. I was tired of the temporary life, unanchored. Of knowing that when I went home, it was what was I was going home to for now, … Continue reading →

Grey’s Anatomy (yes, I still watch Grey’s Anatomy. Shut up. You should too.) last night had this great scene where Meredith and Bailey and Amelia and the new sister of Meredith’s whose name I don’t even know yet were sitting … Continue reading →

You know how sometimes you’re just tired? And you probably have the energy to do something. But only something completely indulgent, like eating a hostess cupcake on the couch and watching “Bring It On”? And then you think, well, that’s … Continue reading →

Sometimes, for no reason at all, I’m filled with anxiety. Or dread. Or foreboding. Or whatever that feeling is you get in dreams where you’re in college and it’s finals but you don’t know where your classroom is and you … Continue reading →

What if I pack it all in and clear my life and decide, for real, that I’m going to spend time writing every day? I purposely spend less time on activities that generate income. In order to write more. What … Continue reading →

I still have the bleedy eye. My doctor said that it would take between two and six days to heal but that I was a “faster healer” so it should be closer to two. I like to think I’m the … Continue reading →

This morning, I accidentally caught glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror. Until now, I thought that “she gasped” was a phrase made up for romance novels and mystery dinner theatre, but were I narrating a story about myself in … Continue reading →

I’m sitting in a beach chair under an umbrella, looking out at the ocean. The water is that turquoise, clear blue green like you see on postcards or the pages of resort web sites. As you swim (and the water … Continue reading →

“You can’t hit a pregnant girl.” I had never hit anyone, pregnant or not, and I wasn’t planning on starting now. The very idea that I was about to be in a fight didn’t even make any sense. The only … Continue reading →

The first time I went to the prom, we drove through McDonald’s for dinner on the way. I was a sophomore in a tiny town in Oklahoma and my boyfriend was a senior. I don’t remember anything about the prom … Continue reading →

So here’s a thing that happened: I was walking in Paris and happened upon this cafe with an outdoor courtyard of scattered tables under the trees. Inside was a little shop with upscale jams and honey and boxes of sugar … Continue reading →

I watched two women on the beach edging into the water. The waves crashed down and splashed them. They laughed and clung to each other and ran back to the safeness of the sand. Then they tried again. I sipped … Continue reading →

Maybe you never really know a place the first time you’re there. You’re walking around in the dark, hands outstretched, hoping you don’t fall down. You feel the turns, the sharp corners, the safe places. So next time — if … Continue reading →

Road trip: day 19 of who knows how many days. So far, I’ve mostly been driving in circles. The last time I fled the world with no plan and no end, I ended up in Paris, Barcelona, San Sebastian. This … Continue reading →

Unlike Tay, I don’t mean that I met a boy. But it is Wednesday. And something’s beginning again. I’m just not quite sure what it is yet. Today, I climbed some rocks in Joshua Tree and looked out at the … Continue reading →

I’ve heard that when alcoholics stop drinking for a while and then start up again, they don’t start over. Their bodies just pick right up where they left off, with black out binges right on day one. I think the … Continue reading →

When I was a kid, I really liked that BJ Thomas song, “Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head”. Of course, it was entirely lost me, since I didn’t understand the concept of metaphor and thought it was about somebody who … Continue reading →

Pandora has been playing Ingrid Michaelson, Anna Nalick, Pink, and now, out the blue, Hootie and the Blowfish. Suddenly, it’s 1994, and I’m sitting in the dark, narrow bar in Balboa where we listened to that album on repeat all … Continue reading →

So I quit my job. Which is what has led me to this cafe in Paris lined with books, drinking espresso and reading a book about Phish and Insane Clown Posse. And identifying with it. The author writes: “Ambition had … Continue reading →

The thing about Paris cafes is that they’re noisy. I know they sound romantic and wonderful and presumably all you need to do is walk into a Parisian cafe and order an espresso and you’ll have a complete novel written … Continue reading →