Category Archives: Life

A certain someone who has read this journal on occasion may see that title and think I’m at it again: all that “I’m an independent woman” rambling  and OK we get it already, you’re independent and strong and don’t need … Continue reading →

“It was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us.” Sometimes it seems pointless to write when it’s been written so much better before. Sometimes I don’t have … Continue reading →

Sometimes. Sometimes, something hits you. Maybe like you’re walking down a quaint dirt road in the country. The kind with fields of flowers on either side. Lovely, really. And you’re strolling by, looking up at the fluffy white clouds and … Continue reading →

I think it’s like this. I say that I want a clutter-free life, my heart like stone so nothing can stick to it. But that’s not really true at all. What’s true is that I welcome complication, but only when … Continue reading →

I like to think of myself as completely non-judgmental. Do anything, feel anything you want. We’re all human and different and complicated and anyway, life is hard. We’re all just doing the best we can with what we have. But … Continue reading →

I came to an agreement with myself about my mom today. For a long time, when I was growing up, I thought my mom was right about everything, that she had a direct line to God, and that if I … Continue reading →

Sadness isn’t linear. It’s not like hourglass sand, slowly running out until one day it’s gone. Sadness surprises you with its ability to hide and then confront you at the most unexpected moments. You want to get through things and … Continue reading →

Things that are happy. I can do this. I know a lot of happy things. OK. Here goes. Girl scout cookies. I especially love tagalongs. The trouble is that I can eat an entire box without even noticing. Don’t judge. … Continue reading →

I am, of course, a liar. But you knew that already. You’ve read about how I don’t need anything except my independence and how the only true validation comes from within. And yet you’ve also read about how I love … Continue reading →

We all have pictures in our minds of who we want to be. And some days I’m just not that person. Some days I’m sad and useless and I have nothing creative or witty or interesting or smart to say. … Continue reading →

Yesterday, between finishing overdue work for clients, attending a university board lunch, meeting with a potential client, having coffee with someone to talk about organizing an upcoming conference, and answering questions from my editor about my book, I managed to … Continue reading →

It is so incredibly easy to slip into this place of letting the flaws of others — issues that have nothing to do with us — influence how we feel about ourselves. I don’t know why it’s such a comfortable … Continue reading →

I went to a bookstore yesterday. Bookstores are dangerous. Not all of us can simply open a door and walk into what our alternate life might be. Bookstores always make me feel ambivalent, and this visit was no different. On … Continue reading →

I can write about how I feel and what I’ve done and about moments and snippets of conversations and what I see as I walk through an airport. I’m not quite as able to transfer a landscape to a page: … Continue reading →

I admit, I laugh a little when people phrase their statements as absolutes. As though I have ANY world wisdom at all and have any reason to be cooly looking over at anyone and laughing. I know. That’s part of … Continue reading →

I used to think I was smart. But recent weeks have been filled with epiphanies completely new to me that likely everyone else simply calls “obvious stuff we’ve always known”. I thought I understood why someone would have a so-called … Continue reading →

Once again, the stuff around me became too much. Everything took up too much space. I couldn’t breathe or think or write or see. My stuff was a fire and the smoke was choking me, surrounding me, hemming me in. … Continue reading →

You look out and you know that what you see isn’t really what is there. but you have glasses on (perhaps not so rose-colored) and baggage in the way, and everything is obscured by filters you just can’t quite see … Continue reading →

I’m taking these private lessons, um, dance classes, aerobics. For working out. OK, fine, it’s pole dancing. And it is, in fact, I really great workout. My instructor throws in a lot of yoga along with the pole work. Helps … Continue reading →

I want to change the world. Learn everything about the world. Be loved by someone who thinks I’m awesome. But at what point do I lower my expectations? Decide I’m approaching this life thing all wrong and that I’m not … Continue reading →

Things that have made me cry this week: That part of that sappy Romeo and Juliet Taylor Swift Song that goes “you’ll never have to be alone, I love you and that’s all I really know”. A story on NPR … Continue reading →

You know how people make those links of 100 things to do or 100 places to see before they die? I don’t have anything like that. My list is mostly, “don’t die”. I wonder, would it be wrong to take … Continue reading →

I have too many things in my head. I used to be able to hold it all there and have infinite room for anything. So I don’t have any practice at not letting it all in. Writing helps. Because it’s … Continue reading →