reasons I shouldn’t go to the gym

1. It’s really cold outside.

2. On the other hand, the bed is really warm.

3. Also the blankets are toasty and snuggly.

4. I would have to scrape the ice off my car windows, and ice prefers to melt naturally. Also, scraping would be cold.

5. There is no coffee at the gym. If I have to be awake, I should get to drink coffee.

6. I’m sleepy. It’s 5 AM, dammit.

7. I mentioned the cold thing already?

8. Working out is hard.

9. Sometimes the desk guy at the gym isn’t very nice. Probably because he’s been working all night and is tired and cranky, but still. I don’t like people to be mean to me when I’m suffering such a hardship as waking up early and working out.

10. Just when I’m finally getting into my cardio, something like Simon and Garfunkel comes up on my iPod. How am I supposed to work out to Bridge Over Troubled Water?

11. Given a choice between a warm soft bed and cold hard work, how am I supposed to pick the icky one? I’m not a strong-willed person. I’m very easily enticed. Ask anyone.

12. It’s fucking cold. Seriously.

Fine. I’ll go. But I’ll think about going back to bed the whole time. You can’t stop me.

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